Divine Bag of Cells
Discovering Divinity
Meet Star
Star was conceived on a magic mushroom farm and was born into this world on May 14, 1987 in Abique New Mexico. On the day of Star's birth, musician Stanley Jordan played guitar in sync with the rhythms of her mothers contractions. Star was born in the back of a recreational vehicle with no electricity and no running water on a small goat farm, owned by a Muslim family. Before she changed her name in fifth grade, she went by the name Kashi. Tracy, Star's mom, likes to tell the story of how the name Kashi was whispered into her ear by an unseen force. The name Kashi is famous for being Shivas city; Shiva is a popular Indian Deity. In a simple Sanskrit translation, Kashi means "shining" or "the luminous one." When Star was two years old she began running around saying, "my name is Kashi Star, my name is Kashi Star." And thus Star became her middle name. In an interesting side note, It was about that same time that Star's father Robbie asked her why she cried when she was born and she said, "because I couldn't walk or talk anymore."
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Star moved around a lot growing up and was accustomed to being the new girl in school. She has attended seven elementary schools, and four high schools (six if you include juvenile hall and placement). She's lived in seven states, one other country, and multiple cities and towns across California.
.Star's childhood and upbringing were atypical at best. She experiencd many enjoyable moments and many painful ones as well, but the predominant impression of it all left her feeling controlled, like she couldn't be herself, like she was never good enough, and like she was unworthy. As she approached her teens she began to unravel until she completly lost herself. She began cutting herself, taking hard drugs, and drinking heavily. When she was 14 she got put on probation and was locked into the system for the rest of her teens. She was in and out of juvenile hall, was kicked out of her high school, put in a program called drug court, sent to sobriety high school, forced to attend three AA or NA meetings a week, mandated to go to therapy, was court ordered to take anti depressants, and had no choice but to submit to take random piss tests at school. Just shy of her 16th birthday she was kicked out of drug court and sent to juvenile hall again where she became a ward of the court. A few months later and after having her 16th birthday in juvenile hall, she was sent to a year long in patient rehab program. Star ran away from that program and lived with her grandparents in New York for her 11th grade year. When Star came back to California she was put on house arrest with an electronic monitoring bracelet. Star managed to pull it together enough to graduate at her origional high school. But Star still wasn't happy, she was full of emotional pain, and she spiraled out again. She was kicked out of her house, was homeless, and was back to taking hard drugs and drinking heavily. When Star was 20 years old she moved to LA.
Star was waiting tables on her 21st birthday when this guy asked her out and kept talking about 2012 and using the term ego. At that time Star didn't know what either of those things were so when she got home she began researching. What began as a simple google search led to an expansion in consciousness. Because of the information she was getting exposed to she began to awaken. She began observing her thoughts and through this process realized how profoundly negative her internal space was. She was in a void, a spiritually disconnected hole. Because of the deep resonanance she felt when it came to the deeper spiritual truths she was getting exposed to, she became determined to change her consciousness, her perception, her focus.
Star's innitial curiosity and research awoke an innate drive to become the best she could be; mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritualally. And so she began to work on herself on every level. She began to excercise and do yoga, she began taking classes at a community college, and she began focusing on her health. Most importantly, she began working with her mind to dispell her negative beliefs.
Between the ages of 22 and 26 Star's main focuses were school and self discovery. While most students spend their college years with peers, dating, partying, in clubs, taking extra curricular activities, or running for various leadership or governement roles, Star spent hers mostly alone studying (though she made a point to have fun filled adventurous summers), excercising, reaserching, and learning about her own mind and emotions. Not only was she gathering conscious expanding information, she was applying it to herself. She was digging herself out of a spiritually void and disconnected hole.
In community college Star maintained a 4.0 and transferred to UC Berkeley where she persued a degree in Psychology. Star graduated in May of 2013. While Star was never much of a school person, through her awakening she realized that she didn't just want to survive, she wanted to thrive and so she became committed to doing whatever she believed it would take to create a life of thriving.
Star now lives in a much different internal reality than the one she awakened to when she was 21 years old. And she is forever grateful. It was as though she had to lose herself so that she could find herself. Because she has and continues to change the inner workings of her mind, she know's what is possible and believes that we all have the power to create our own realities and to become more of who we truly are.
"We're all divine bags of cells here to discover our own divinity."
-Star
